In the gospel this morning, Peter asks Jesus how often he should forgive his neighbor. After all, he’s heard Jesus teaching what we hear in the Lord’s prayer from Matthew 6:
if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Mt. 6:14-15)In his head, he knows forgiveness is important. So when he asks Jesus his question, Peter makes what he thinks is a generous offer, asking if he is to forgive seven times. But Jesus tells him not seven, but seventy-seven.
Now, that’s a lot of forgiveness when someone has angered you or betrayed you, let alone if they have caused pain to you or someone you love.
Pastor Delmer Chilton, a Lutheran pastor who’s served congregations in Georgia, Tennessee and North Carolina, tells a story about something he’s seen take place in churches in the hollars of Appalachia, a tradition that’s known as “a flower service”.
What happens is that everyone brings bouquets of flowers and places them on a table in front of the pulpit. These aren’t formal arrangements like we order from Mike’s or Holly’s, but large fistfuls of flowers from the garden and wildflowers from the fields.
Then the minister preaches a sermon, reminding people of Our Lord’s admonition to make peace with our neighbor before kneeling at the altar to pray to God.
After the sermon, everyone in the congregation comes and retrieves their flowers, and begins to go to every other person in the church to apologize for any hurt feelings or harsh words or misunderstandings.
Every person. From the oldest to the youngest, everyone talks to everyone else, not caring how long it takes.
And after the words of forgiveness have been spoken and heard, people exchange their flowers, sealing the restoration of their relationship and then they move on to another sister or brother in Christ.[i]
With his answer, basically, Jesus tells Peter, “Go on forgiving, as long it takes.”
Where true forgiveness demands a merciful and generous spirit, Peter’s question revealed only how miserly our human understanding of forgiveness can be.
First, forgiveness doesn’t mean “forgive and forget.”
“Forgive and forget” is one of those sayings that has worked its way into our culture, but has no basis in Scripture. And, forgiving and forgetting are not the same.
What happens is that everyone brings bouquets of flowers and places them on a table in front of the pulpit. These aren’t formal arrangements like we order from Mike’s or Holly’s, but large fistfuls of flowers from the garden and wildflowers from the fields.
Then the minister preaches a sermon, reminding people of Our Lord’s admonition to make peace with our neighbor before kneeling at the altar to pray to God.
After the sermon, everyone in the congregation comes and retrieves their flowers, and begins to go to every other person in the church to apologize for any hurt feelings or harsh words or misunderstandings.
Every person. From the oldest to the youngest, everyone talks to everyone else, not caring how long it takes.
And after the words of forgiveness have been spoken and heard, people exchange their flowers, sealing the restoration of their relationship and then they move on to another sister or brother in Christ.[i]
With his answer, basically, Jesus tells Peter, “Go on forgiving, as long it takes.”
Where true forgiveness demands a merciful and generous spirit, Peter’s question revealed only how miserly our human understanding of forgiveness can be.
First, forgiveness doesn’t mean “forgive and forget.”
“Forgive and forget” is one of those sayings that has worked its way into our culture, but has no basis in Scripture. And, forgiving and forgetting are not the same.
In the parable Jesus tells, the king doesn’t say the slave’s debt is forgotten; in fact, when the slave fails to respond mercifully to the man who is indebted to him, the king holds the slave accountable for the full cost of the debt he had owed. Importantly, forgiving doesn’t mean tolerating unacceptable behavior and it doesn’t mean remaining vulnerable to additional pain.
Second, forgiveness isn’t earned.
Too often, we cast ourselves as the king in the parable because we want to be judge of whether another person is worthy of forgiveness. Calling them to account, we insist on witnessing repentance, reform or, at the very least, an apology. And while we are called to repentance in Scripture, it is not a condition of God’s forgiveness.
Second, forgiveness isn’t earned.
Too often, we cast ourselves as the king in the parable because we want to be judge of whether another person is worthy of forgiveness. Calling them to account, we insist on witnessing repentance, reform or, at the very least, an apology. And while we are called to repentance in Scripture, it is not a condition of God’s forgiveness.
Look at the story of the prodigal son whose father races to meet him and welcomes him home, before any words have been shared. (Luke 15) The model of forgiveness that we have is God’s unmerited, unmeasurable, and unrestrained forgiveness.
Look at the cross. Jesus was crucified, knowing his disciples had fled in fear and Peter had denied him; and yet, God does not withhold forgiveness, waiting for us to respond appropriately, or at all.
To illustrate what divine forgiveness is, Jesus tells this parable where a slave owes a debt at the largest magnitude known, a sum equivalent to two hundred thousand years of wages.
An impossible debt.
And instead of being cast as the king, suddenly, we realize we are the slaves, who have received an unexpected, extravagant and transformative gift from God. And, even when we have heard about God’s grace and we think we know what it means, we are surprised again by its magnitude.
Throughout his teachings in the catechisms, Martin Luther shows that “[God declares] that all people are forgiven, loved and blessed simply because God says so. God’s love of the ungodly is what changes the world, not human efforts to try and be like God.”[ii]
Importantly, the torture the one slave returns to is not being shackled and paraded down the street, beaten and flayed, or executed on a cross, but “the torment of refusing forgiveness.”[iii]
When we refuse to offer forgiveness, and instead hold onto hurts and resentments, we suffer. Seeds of bitterness are sown and wounds fester. We are completely and wholly changed by God’s grace but instead of letting go of pain, we wallow in it because it’s so well known to us.
When we refuse to receive the forgiveness we’ve been given, when we hold onto our sin, our shame and see ourselves as lacking worth or value, we are defying God and refusing to let go of the ‘old Adam,’ the person who has been put to death on the cross. Like the unforgiving slave, we are refusing the new life we are given in faith in Christ.
Remember, when Jesus told his followers, “those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.”? (Mt. 16:24-26) Well, this is how we lose our life:
by living, forgiven and forgiving.
We let the old self die, remembering God’s promise that “in baptism, we are clothed once and for all, with a forgiveness woven for us by Jesus’ death and resurrection.”[iv]
Answering Peter, Jesus reminds him, and us, that our life in the gathered community of his followers depends on the wholeness of our relationships with God and with each other, and forgiveness sustains our life together.
Let us pray…
Good and Gracious God,
Thank you for your overwhelming mercy to each one of us.
You call us to show forgiveness to one another as we have received forgiveness, living in response to the love and grace you have first given us, by faith in Your Son Jesus.
By your Holy Spirit, empower us to be merciful to the world around us.
Amen.
[i] Chilton, Delmer. The Gospel According to Aunt Mildred: Stories of Family and Faith (p. 103). Brasstown Publishing. Kindle Edition.
[ii] Martin Lohrmann. The Book of Harmony. 51.
[iii] Lectionary Lab.
[iv] Robert Capon. Parables of Kingdom, Grace, Judgment. 193.
Look at the cross. Jesus was crucified, knowing his disciples had fled in fear and Peter had denied him; and yet, God does not withhold forgiveness, waiting for us to respond appropriately, or at all.
To illustrate what divine forgiveness is, Jesus tells this parable where a slave owes a debt at the largest magnitude known, a sum equivalent to two hundred thousand years of wages.
An impossible debt.
And instead of being cast as the king, suddenly, we realize we are the slaves, who have received an unexpected, extravagant and transformative gift from God. And, even when we have heard about God’s grace and we think we know what it means, we are surprised again by its magnitude.
Throughout his teachings in the catechisms, Martin Luther shows that “[God declares] that all people are forgiven, loved and blessed simply because God says so. God’s love of the ungodly is what changes the world, not human efforts to try and be like God.”[ii]
Importantly, the torture the one slave returns to is not being shackled and paraded down the street, beaten and flayed, or executed on a cross, but “the torment of refusing forgiveness.”[iii]
When we refuse to offer forgiveness, and instead hold onto hurts and resentments, we suffer. Seeds of bitterness are sown and wounds fester. We are completely and wholly changed by God’s grace but instead of letting go of pain, we wallow in it because it’s so well known to us.
When we refuse to receive the forgiveness we’ve been given, when we hold onto our sin, our shame and see ourselves as lacking worth or value, we are defying God and refusing to let go of the ‘old Adam,’ the person who has been put to death on the cross. Like the unforgiving slave, we are refusing the new life we are given in faith in Christ.
Remember, when Jesus told his followers, “those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.”? (Mt. 16:24-26) Well, this is how we lose our life:
by living, forgiven and forgiving.
We let the old self die, remembering God’s promise that “in baptism, we are clothed once and for all, with a forgiveness woven for us by Jesus’ death and resurrection.”[iv]
Answering Peter, Jesus reminds him, and us, that our life in the gathered community of his followers depends on the wholeness of our relationships with God and with each other, and forgiveness sustains our life together.
Let us pray…
Good and Gracious God,
Thank you for your overwhelming mercy to each one of us.
You call us to show forgiveness to one another as we have received forgiveness, living in response to the love and grace you have first given us, by faith in Your Son Jesus.
By your Holy Spirit, empower us to be merciful to the world around us.
Amen.
[i] Chilton, Delmer. The Gospel According to Aunt Mildred: Stories of Family and Faith (p. 103). Brasstown Publishing. Kindle Edition.
[ii] Martin Lohrmann. The Book of Harmony. 51.
[iii] Lectionary Lab.
[iv] Robert Capon. Parables of Kingdom, Grace, Judgment. 193.
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